The Pain of Infertility |

Caliban018 Says:
8. January 2009 at 11:56 pm

I felt this pain. But time does heal. And sometimes we grow, and sometimes we do not. But I hope that your story ends well and that the path you take does not cause pain that you cannot bear.

Caliban018 Says:
8. January 2009 at 11:57 pm

Your kids are yourselves but younger. May you always find joy in each others company. Thank you so much for your well wishes.

Caliban018 Says:
8. January 2009 at 11:57 pm

Thank you. I have drawn so much comfort from those who have followed this story.

Caliban018 Says:
8. January 2009 at 11:59 pm

I am so sorry I had not replied to this. I hope that your surgery went well. But remember, this does not necessarily cause infertility. The test your take to find out how your sperm count is, is not exactly….invasive. And thankfully, not too expensive.

Caliban018 Says:
9. January 2009 at 12:00 am

Thank you for this. Really, the way my story has gone is as amazing as the one you have related above. The technology and skill that let us have viable embryos waiting for us is amazing.

entity9333 Says:
22. May 2009 at 7:57 am

You will be someone’s beloved daddy sometime.. It will arrive one way or another, biological, adopted or foster parent. Know that child is yours. I understand too well the hollow feeling of not having a child. A child desperately wanted.

Caliban018 Says:
24. May 2009 at 2:05 am

You are so kind for saying this. I hope that you are right. And I hope that hollow feeling is filled for you soon.

ThisIsRysta Says:
12. June 2009 at 10:54 am

I am sorry to hear that you’re upset about this. You could give your infertility to me if you want, I think that having children is disgusting, not a miracle. I would be proud to be infertile if I was, so I can’t fully comprehend how you must feel. But I hopw that, in some way a proper justification against childbirth might make you feel better. There is little I can do that would make me feel more guilty than having a child.

1chola4lyfe Says:
19. June 2009 at 3:47 pm

god bless you and im sue you will have children god can help i promise it worked for eveyone i know

Caliban018 Says:
23. June 2009 at 3:41 am

I do understand if you have trouble understanding how I feel. I do understand that for some, wanting to bring a child into the world is incomprehensible. I wish to take part in the growth of a little mind. I wish to show a child the world and the soil and the clouds and the caterpillars and the stars. I wish to hold and protect a tiny part of myself and my wife, a blessing given flesh. I have seen extraordinary moments in the process of life and it is beautiful.

Caliban018 Says:
23. June 2009 at 3:41 am

I am honored to accept your blessing. Thank you.

ThisIsRysta Says:
23. June 2009 at 12:23 pm

I’m glad you took that well, because on reflection I don’t think I should have left that comment there… in a way.

My love goes to the unfortunate children who’ve been shoved into the world by two chavs who forgot to wear a condomn. The ones who really are in need of a parent or they will just turn into animals themselves.

My family say I have a natural ability with children

SerenaSarah Says:
25. June 2009 at 4:28 pm

Dear Caliban, may God bless you with children if he will or comfort you instead. You have a very mature attitude on life and you are a humble and precious soul. Peace and love to you
- Serena, a passing “you tube-er”

Caliban018 Says:
28. June 2009 at 3:16 am

Thank you for this. I hope that we are so blessed. We find our own comfort, but we also find comfort in our friends. Thank you for your kind wishes.

jamiedcc24 Says:
10. August 2009 at 5:30 am

i understand how you feel. it makes me feel good to know that men also feel this way about this matter. everyday i feel like “less than a woman” because i cannot preform the most basic biological function i was put on this earth for, to bare a child. it is defiantly a rippling effect that carries over to many parts of your life. i hope someday i can come to grips with this diagnosis as you have and be as strong as to just… move on. again thank you for sharing this with the youtube community.

TurtleButterfly Says:
13. August 2009 at 12:58 pm

i also am infertilie. it is all i think about. we are currently doing fertility treatments now and have spent alot. it hurts to see people pregnant and i cannot feel happy for them. i feel defective, i feel like less of a woman like jamiedcc24 said. it cuts you to the core. thank for sharing our video with us! i hope we are all blessed with our miracles soon. either through adoption, fostering or fertility treatments. good luck!

Caliban018 Says:
14. August 2009 at 1:40 am

Thank you for writing to me. Finding people who also endure this ache has been a bittersweet gift. Bitter that we share pain, but glad that there are those willing to share and support each other. We are more than our biological functions, but yes, this does live at the center of my being. I think the ability to find peace will be in a commitment to be useful to others. But it is hard not to succumb to this.

Caliban018 Says:
14. August 2009 at 1:42 am

I hope that the fertility treatments bring you a blessing and I wish you all the strength and comfort that you need as you go through the process. Please take care of yourself.

I know that you feel less like a woman just as so many above do. Just as I feel like less of a man. I wish I had a simple answer to this. I feel so angry sometimes. When so many overlook the incredible blessing that their children is, I get so frustrated. But I still hope. Thank you.

Jyca53 Says:
24. November 2009 at 5:53 am

im hurt 2:( i wana have kids. ull be in my prayers

jomommie Says:
31. December 2009 at 6:52 pm

I too know your pain. It’s been over 4 years since I became aware of my truth and it still hurts, it is so diffucult to heal the wound, it feels like i have been put in front of the controls of a 747 and I do not know how too fly a plane! Navigating toward healing has been almost impossible for me. Thank you for having the courage to share this. Infertility is such a silent suffering. Peace to you brother :0)

iyawodara Says:
8. February 2010 at 7:41 pm

thank you for sharing your feelings. My hub and I have been trying for almost 2 years. I cary almost everyday. I understand how you feel. Its worse when people who have kids avoid you as though you are a plague.

rrmjvand Says:
23. February 2010 at 12:32 am

The journey through infertility never ends. My ex husband walked out on me after 9 years of trying to concieve–drugs, tests=bloodwork, surgeries, doctors, doctors, doctors…and had a child with a new wife. I am still infertile. It hurts more than anything in the world. And I am sick of people who, upon your telling them you have never been able to have children, say. OH I had five!! Pinheads. I have had a hysterectomy==that was 13 years ago.

Caliban018 Says:
23. February 2010 at 1:55 am

@jomommie Good luck! I am sorry you have to walk this path. We are given no guidance. We find our own wisdom. But through this journey, we grow and find new balance. New empathy. We are more human. Take care and my best to you.

Caliban018 Says:
23. February 2010 at 1:56 am

@iyawodara It is hard to know how to handle other families. I see our friends and relatives cruising by to second and third children. They have every right to their rueful gripes about the challenges of child-raising. But it burns.

Caliban018 Says:
23. February 2010 at 1:58 am

@rrmjvand I cannot express how sorry I am that you have suffered as you have. I wish I had the words of comfort to give some meaning to that suffering. If, in the end, we are left without children, I hope that we can find a way to find the success of other couples less painful.